Trust in the process

After showing my website to people I learned what my next step in making art needs to be. It was a terrifying step revealing my website (even though it is still unfinished) because it reveals a body of work that represents all the years of my art making process. Now that I have crossed this bridge of “putting myself out there” now I have to trust that I really am an artist and the decisions I make when making art are going to lead me down the right path. 

I know the judgements I pass on myself about what I see in my art making, so I automatically assume that the people who view my website also pass the same judgements. When it comes to art it is very easy to see the process the artist goes through just by looking at everything  in one place (a portfolio, as it were.) Any seasoned art viewer could tell you this.  After posting the link to my website I actually got feedback that contradicted how I feel about my own work. Big sigh!! 

I know I have been out of college for quite some time but when I look at my website (my portfolio) it feels like I have just left college. I am nearly 40 years old and, in my mind, I am telling myself that I “should” have more work to show for myself.   I don’t really have a specific style or material or subject. I don’t have my niche. 

Yes, I left teaching to be able to spend time with my kids while they are young. But, I also left my job because I want to find my niche.  In order to do that I need to trust my own instincts when it comes to making things. I need to just make things how I imagine them.   If I can do that... when I do that everything will be just fine.